Living in a Box

How many beds do you have to sleep in till you find which is comfortable for you? In the process of choosing which bed feels comfortable, how many instances do you share these beds with someone? And in those instances where you share your bed with someone, does it really boil down to hoping that the person may feel comfortable in your bed and never leave, and be there with you each morning when you wake up?

How many people do you have to meet in your entire lifetime till you can say you have found the person you're meant to be with? When you find someone whomyou think is meant for you, how long does it usually take for both of you to be together? In that span of time that you are together, how do you quantify the time you've spent--- are these moments even special or are they products of lust?

Of the many times that you think you are in love, when can you say that you are really really really in love? How do you define love anyway? Does love exist in an age where saying I LOVE YOU is so automatic even if it meant nothing? So how do you exactly fall in love?

Of the many times that someone tells you I LOVE YOU, how many of these instances are those when the person meant it? Can someone just be in love you and not tell you in the first place? Can it even be possible that you failed to notice that the feeling of the person for you maybe genuine?

Why does falling in love have to be complicated in the first place?

So, do you still wanna fall in love?

Oblivion

I long for the darkness that surrounds our moments of chaos, for in those moments, your light smolders; your warmth is felt. I savor and live each moment of confusion as if it were the last, for when the sun rises, your light cases to shine, and you�re again lost in the confines of my frozen heart. My soul knows you, my mind recalls your presence, my lips speak your name; yet I know not who you really are. Has the sun blinded me and impaired my capacity to recall even your face?

 I patiently wait for darkness to fall. For when oblivion obscures reality and extinguishes the sun�s radiance, I can now see your face. I can retrace each curve and each line and try to lock that memory n my heart. I feel your pain, your joy, your anguish --- and my soul tries to rejoice in that brief moment of darkness for when I wake up, I will not see your face again. The sun rises and obliterates you from my mind. Still, I long for darkness to fall.

Will I wake up one day to remember you? Will I see your face albeit the sun may have blinded me? Will I be able to memorize every line of your face, every curve, every emotion, when darkness forever leaves me�?

 The sun shall soon thaw my heart. And you will be gone forever. I will never see your face, I will never feel your presence, I will never speak your name.

 Darkness will fall soon..

30-October-2005
11:43AM
 Starmall Las Piñas

Rain

I thought of seeing you today…for the sight of your magnificence draws me into a wonderland of splendor alien to the banality of existence. The heavens long for the sun in an endless outburst of sorrow. 

Rain begins to fall…..

I am reminded by your smile, the innocence of your laughter which sometimes reminds me that I am never too old for fun; your eyes, the sorrow they hide, and the child that begs for attention….; your touch, the warmth of skin on skin, the comforting assurance that you will always be there. 

Still, rain continues to fall…..

(Photo Credit: spencercris.wordpress.com)

Obscurity clouds my eyes in an endless longing for your face, your touch, your love; and now that my longing is quenched, why am I afraid? I am thrown into an abyss of loneliness, forged by ages of grief, despair and pain

Rain continues to fall…….

Where is that smile? Where are those eyes? Where is that touch? Where’s love?

Let your radiance shine and remove the clouds of disbelief! Let your eyes look upon me with pity, that I may love you like a child! Let your touch heal my cold body and thaw my frozen spirit! Let your love be known, that I may find the answers to my questions! But no, rain falls to blind my vision and obscure reason.

The rain has finally washed all possibilities for us to be together… I will never see those eyes, feel your touch, see your smile, feel your love…..

Still, rain continues to pour……

Trains

Falling in love is like riding a train. Doors open, doors welcome people, doors close and the train moves on. After a while, doors again open, people leave and doors close.The sad part is, sometimes people get off earlier and in other stations other than the one's they're supposed to go. Vice versa, the train opens its doors in every station, hence, it welcomes everybody for the ride... It makes it easy and accessible for everybody to enter and leave.....just like that......

However, if lovers were to view their participation in every relationship as mere commuters inside one train, it doesnt make sense... It should not make sense in the first place... But commuting and falling in love are different, for most people anyway. Or are they? (O, confused ka? I dont mean commuting literally). (O, hirit ka pa!)(journal ko to, magdusa ka!)

O crap....my head hurts...maybe I'll finish this when I can.....