It Has Always Been You

It bothers you that most people know how your future will end, better than you do. It bothers you that they get every detail, every emotion and every scenario into proper perspective and that they are usually right. And it hurts that they are right.

You have always been optimistic. You have always had pride in being resilient, and you have always had faced every dark moment of you life head high, even those moments that other people have put you through. Sometimes, it offends you knowing that you don't have to endure these circumstance. mostly not of your own doing. and mostly, you are only a victim of, and yet you do endure them while you get neither any apology nor sympathy from those who put you there in the first place.

Photo Credit : A2GEMMA

It is pathetic to have regrets, putting the needs of other people first than yours, not only because you respect them so much, but because you refuse to add on to their many problems, mostly, of their doing - problems that do not concern you, and you are merely a victim of. You hate it when other people point it out to me and that they are right.

And here you are again, being the same pushover waiting, just because people tell you to wait for good fortune and opportunities to strike, You should probably convince yourself that good fortune, like lightning only strikes but once. If you get hit twice, by good fortune, hopefully, and not by lightning, then you are one lucky bastard.

And so, here you are, at past midnight, contemplating on life, how to provide more for your family, comparing yourself with friends from college, especially those who seem to have the easy way out of things, yet come out victorious in the end. Here you are asking yourself, if you have figured it all out, and if you did, have you lost your way? If you haven't, then when will you figure it out? Will you still be alive by then to realize that you have already figured it out?

And then you realize that you have figured it out, yet you allowed yourself to be used because of some sick obsession of being in pain, of finding joy in being hurt, or maybe, you have been playing the victim for so long that you have become quite adept at it. Life has already hit you in the face and you never have recognized it. You only do, when it has already passed you by and has moved on.

And you, you start to wonder what went wrong.

Well in case you haven't figured it out yet, I'll tell you what went wrong..... YOU.

You allowed yourself yo be the victim instead of being the hero that rescues you. You allowed yourself to be the pushover that gives people the license to use you and abuse you for the wrong reasons, instead of being the one who has control of your life and your future. And lastly, you allowed yourself to drown in the illusion that things will get better, that things will change, instead of being the captain of that ship which sails to a better future.

Yes, it is all on you, it has always been you.

Now that you know, you have the option to take control of your life. Seize every moment, every opportunity to control your life and steer it in whichever direction that you think will lead you to that beautiful future that you have always dreamed of. Live your life on your own terms, at your own pace and move forward from whatever it is that you feel like is holding you back from being 101% of the person that you feel you can become.

The power is in your hands. Use it. Change your life, change your future,