Falling In and Out of Love and Faking It

As I sit here with you today, I couldnt help but question my motives. Am I here because I love you, or am I here because I have to be, considering the time we have been apart.

Such thought provoked several other concerns: 1) Are we okay? 2) How long are we going to stay like this? 3) How long can you sustain your love for me when I cant seem to reciprocate the feeling anymore? 4) Do I even love you still?

Weird.... I am in love with you, yet, at this very momemt, I'd rather be home in my own bed, be with my dog, and be enjoying sleep ALONE. I am in love with you, but somehow, I am trying real hard to sustain the feeling just to make today special. I am in love with you, yet somehow, I feel like I'm faking it... and its wrong.....

So now, haviong felt contradicting emotions at the same time....can someone tell me please what's the difference between being in love and faking it? Arrrgh!

I cant be falling out of love...that I am certain, but if I am exhibiting signs of falling out of love...despiute my being concious of being in love....then what do I make out of it????

I'm confused....

If Looks Could Kill (I'd Kill the Person First)

...Now that you've had a closer look of my face and my features, tell me, how do you feel about me? Say whaaat? Stop! Rewind, play.....Hi...Now that you've had a closer look of my face and my features, tell me, how do you feel about me? OMG I heard it right...

At that particular moment, I'd like to bite your head off. Do I have a sign, a mark on my forehead which made you conclude that I was after your looks? Common, I've dated several better looking people than you..don't be so full of yourself.

Have you ever failed to consider the fact that I may have liked you for any other reason other than your looks? Say, what ever happened to the fact that you make me smile, or that you never fail to amaze me, or that you do stupid things and exit gracefully? Looks?

Now I wonder, what made you like me in the first place. Looks? Have I no other value except for looks? Am I not good enough for any other reason except for looks? Can you not like me for being smart or being nice or being funny? But looks?

I must have grown too old too fast to have skipped this part...

Pathetic.