The First Cut is the Deepest: Sheryl Crow

I would have given you all of my heart

But there’s someone who’s torn it apart

And he’s taken just all that I have

But if you want I’ll try to love again

Baby, I’ll try to love again, but I know…

What's Playing in Your iPod Looser?

I have been so busy being happy that I forgot to give back to society - to help the poor (read: the broken hearted), the needy (read: those who refuse to move on) and the unemployed (read: those who have moved on but are single).

I would like to recommend the following breakup songs for the broken hearted. Ayan, ayaw nyo pa mag move-on? Hala cge, pakalunod kayo kakaiyak as if naman babalikan pa kayo nun:

1. The Day You Went Away (Wendy Matthews)
Panalo ka dito. You'll feel like as if your world will fall apart. Take it from me, naka-relate ako dito. Ta-tanga-tanga kasi.

2. Love Me Like The First Time (Stacy Lattisaw)
Cge, mag-ilusyon ka na babalikan ka pa nya. Hello... hindi. Move on ka na lang....dami mo pang arte.

3. I Just Had To Hear Your Voice (Oletta Adams)
The first time I played this song... kala ko naman feel good song ini... hindi! Ayan, kung di ka pa kuntento sa kakaiyak, tawagan mo pa... pakatanga ka ulit!

4. Missing You (Case)
Isa pa to. Lalo na, this is one of the songs I last gave my ex para sa ipod nya. Aba malay ko ba naman magiging relevant ito. (Come to think of it, may 2 cds pala ako sa ex ko.. o well.....good luck if I could still find a copy of those)

5. I Believe (Blessid Union of Souls)
Ito ay isang version ng Wishing And Hoping And Praying. Uhm... hello, move on na nga eh ano ba!

6) Why (Avril Lavigne)
Kung psychologist ka naman or pshychiatrist or plainly psychotic.. ito ang song for you. Hala ubusin mo ang oras mo kakaisip bakit ka nya iniwan. Hint: Di ka na nya mahal... weeeeh! Dali move on na!

7. Back Here (BBMak)
I love BBmak.. pero nunca na magustuhan ko itong kantang ito. Naman.. Back here? Hello.... ilusyunado ka? Feeling mo babalikan ka? Untog mo nga yang ulo mo!

8. I Wish I wasn't In Love With You(Heather Headley)
I recommend the dance version, the one that comes as part of Anton Ramos' Chillout Project. Bakit? Eh dahil gusto ko eh, bakit ka ba nangingialam ha? Blog ko to eh!

9. Teardrops (I forgot the artist)
Anyway hindi ako mahilig sa sobrang emote na songs so I am recommending this.

10. Bleeding Love (Leona Lewis)
Isa pa to.. again, get the dance remix version. At pwede ba, go out on a date!

There are still a lot of beautiful songs to choose from but ayoko i-recommend coz MOVING ON is what were trying to accomplish.

Sa mga nagaatempt mag-move on and sa mga nakapag-move on na, these songs are for you:

1. I Never really Loved You Anyway (The Corrs)
This is my number one. I make sure na kapag iniwan ko or iniwanan ako, hindi ko babalikan.

2. Girl Friend (Avril Lavigne)
Ayan, this song is telling you to flirt, go out on dates and find a new GF/BF. Dont worry if at the first few attempts you dont find the right person.. hello remember youre on the rebound, take it easy muna. Remember, we dont make mistakes, we just date them.

3. Migraine (Moonstar88)
I like this one in particular. Its you telling yourself TAMA NA. Umayos ka na kung ayaw mo masaktan or kung ayaw mong saktan kita.

4. Why Do All Good Things Coe to An End (Nelly Furtado)
Again... wag magpakadalubhasa in trying to figure out what went wrong. Carry lang yan

5. The First Cut Is The Deepest (Sheryl Crow)
Now this is truly a moving on song. Its you telling your new partner that youre ready to fall again.

6) Not Ready To Make Nice (Dixie Chicks)
Kung bitter ka pa rin sa kakainom ng Charantia... ito ang para sayo.

7. Outta My Head (Ashlee Simpson)
This is you forcing to get your ex off your mind.. off your heart na rin. Malay mo sa kaka-listen mo nito matauhan ka.

8. Moving On Up (M People)
Panalo din ito. Listen to it. Sabi ko listen... hindi dance to it.

9. Another Suitcase In Another Hall (Madonna)
Its you telling yourself youre moving on despite not knowing how. May kukontra pa ba kay Madonna?

10. Its Too Late To Apologize (One Republic)
You tell yourself at this point, whatever left unsaid or not discussed by you and your ex... wala na yun... apologize nya mukha nya di ba. Hayaan mo na yung tao... tandaan mo palagi, be kind to animals.

11. Can We Still Be Friends (Todd Rundgren/Mandy Moore)
Leche ka, naghahanap ka talagang sakit ng ulo ano? Anong friends friends ka dyan? As a general rule, if you and your ex were friends first before you became an item why not. Kung hindi naman, tigilan ang ilusyon (sabagay libre mangarap) and dont bother your ex. Remember, kung mahal ka nun, di ka iniwan nun hehehehehe.

12. Slow Me Down (Emmy Rossum)
The process of moving on is also a healing process. Wag madaliin. If you want to just sleep around then do so with no strings attached. A good advice... sleep with your ex's ex! Hahahaha ....... Trust me, you'll learn a lot.

13. Goodbye My Lover (James Blunt)
Ayan tama yan.. Mag-Goodbye ka na.. nag-goodbye na nga yung tao sayo eh! Isa pa.. ang training wag kalimutan.. hindi tayo umiiyak, tayo ang iniiyakan.

So there you have it.. my contribution to society. If you want advice on love, call the National Center for Mental Health, wag ako ... busy ako being happy.

Flowers and Badmintron Don't Mix

Flowers really freak me out … especially if i have to carry these walking around in public… more so if I have to go to a sportsfest carrying a bouquet of flowers … eeeek! I do understand and I appreciate that my Bubu was just being so sweet and thoughtful … but flowers???? I could have sworn the moment I got the text that I am in for a surprise, I almost lost my marbles, and yes my jaw practically dropped to the floor when I saw the flowers. Nobody gives me flowers. Nobody has… ever. Especially not at 4:30 in the afternoon and at a mall. I automatically turned into an asshole and started an argument which lasted until the rest of the day. So we’re clear…no more flowers! Right Bubu?

I now have a feel of what stage parents are like… in my case, I am the proud BF of a badminton powerhouse (my bubu). I had to brave the heat of the Meralco gym to show my immoral (hehehe) support for my bubu’s team….and yes, all the BFs are there hahahaha. Were like typical pleasantville husbands waiting for our wives to finish their salon extravaganza. It is indeed true that one does crazy things for love … life suffocating in a not so well ventilated gym without air conditioning (and I cannot stand any room without an aircon). Ang galing pala mag badminton ng asawa ko! But seriously…. I am going to die if I have to do this again next week……

Next project.. let’s see you dance……

An Open Letter From Josh Fuller

I am posting an entry from the blog of Josh Fuller as a response to my posts at my journals in Pic-link. Here goes:


To lafouge - An open letter

Owner: joshfuller2005
Created on: Jun 05 2008 @ 02:30 PM
Last Updated: Jun 05 2008 @ 02:37 PM
Page View: 43

Mood: Normal


Hi lafouge,

Hello, I don’t know how to call you but let me share to you my insights
about your long story. I was thinking whether to post this message
publicly or only to you. But then, I just thought of sending this
message publicly so that readers may learn from this. You know, my
purpose of writing to you is not for anything else but to at least
lessen your burdens. Nung nabasa ko ang journals mo, nanariwa uli sa
‘king ala-ala ang ‘di ko malilimot na yugto sa buhay ko tungkol sa
isang pag-ibig na akala ko ay magkakaroon ng happy ending. Actually, it
did have a happy ending but late have I realized that it was supposed
to be a happy ending. Parehong-pareho ang ating karanasan, yun nga
lang, ang sa ‘yo ay 2 taon, sa akin naman ay 8 taon. Years lang
pinagkaiba. I thought that that relationship would be forever. I
considered him as the extension of myself, my other heart, my soul
mate. He would always tell me that he would never love anyone else but
me, he was willing to live with me, and spend the rest of his life with
me. We would always plan for the future like purchasing a house where
we could live and share things in life, raise kids, spend the rest of
our life taking care of each other. All those sorts of things… you
know. I really do not know what happen to us, I just woke up one
morning feeling betrayed. I would always question him why he had
changed, why he could not love me anymore. What could be that thing
that I did that made him changed? Anyway, to cut the story short, we
separated. I was hurt. I didn’t know what to do then, I was confused, I
felt so alone. I cried almost everyday and went on that way for almost
a year, I thought that was the end of my existence. Eventually, I
realize a lot of things about the meaning of life, the meaning of the
words “letting go”, the real meaning of LOVE, love that is
unconditional, unselfish giving even if your love is unrequited. But
you know, the best learning I had was when I realized that GOD was not
sleeping, that he loved me most and that I am not alone. That I still
have friends and family who are with me all the way, that I still have
a lot of opportunities in life, that I can still go beyond my
existence, explore possibilities and love again. I realized then that
the most beautiful people are the scarred people, agree?

Bakit kita sinulatan? To make you realize that life is like that.
You know, when we pray for strength, God does not give us strength
right away, He gives us opportunities to be strong, when we pray for
love, He does not give us love right away but opportunities to love.
What we experience whether it be happy or sad, are opportunities for us
to know ourselves, to make us realize life’s mysteries and eventually
become a better person. By now I would know that you have learned
something from that experience. Right?

Thanks for sharing your story. I appreciate the way it was
written. I am sure that many people like us can relate to it. Sorry for
my English flaws, I am not really a writer. Di ba happy ending? Ingat
po.

Comment by: lafouge
Posted on: 06-05-2008 @ 07:17 pm

I appreciate the fact that you took time to share your thoughts with the
rest of us. I understand that what you went through has also been
hurtful - 8 years is no joke. I know because prior to my 2 year
relationship, I had a 6 year relationship which I also thought would be
"it". But no. Lesson learned….? You just don’t give up on love just
because you’re hurt or betrayed.. you just keep on loving and hoping
that one day… someone will find you.
Stay happy ok? Keep in touch.

Chapter One Begins

Yeah... yeah ... yeah... I know what you're going to say. What is this idiot doing blogging again? Well sweetie, you can take blogging away from any writer but you can never take writing away from any writer..... well sort of, you get my drift.

So anyway... tonight, my lil bro and I decided to have dinner. The poor kid has been trying real hard to squeeze into kuya's busy schedule and so finally, we found the time to catch up. The night was just starting to get weirder though....

I spent a few moments trying to pick the perfect ring for me and my Bubu . . . its long overdue anyway considering that its already our first month together. To accomplish this, I had to remove extra clothing - my vest, my jacket and my muffler.. how the hell do I know that there was a freaking sale in Ayala Center and that all sorts of creatures were in a hurry to grab all sorts of items at marked down prices??? Long story short, I looked like a bloody French gigolo wearing stripes and a pair of jeans (good thing Girbaud makes huge bags that I was able to fit all other pieces of clothing there).

So what does the perfect ring look like (No fucking gold please!)? The options were:

A) Plain and smooth ----- naaah, too pedestrian for Bubu's "Make Me A Supermodel" looks.
B) Matte with asterisk like patterns ---- Hoe much? Why don't you just wear a tag with the letters H O E to go with it
C) Smooth with undistinguishable patters ---- My precious... so Lord of The Rings-esque. Hello!
D) Combo of alternate lines and grains ---- perfect......too bad this doesnt come in platinum.But still perfect...

So Ive picked up the rings, I'll just have to give it to Bubu later... now off to meet my bro for dinner.

Like I said earlier..... the night just couldn't get weirder than this. As I was on my way to Greenbelt 1 with my usual bouncy walk..... This 6 feet Calvin Klein posterboy starts heading my way as if there was no other way but to collide with me. He had this grin on his face as if he was mocking me (but he wasn't) and just about a foot away between me and him bumping to each other, posterboy stops in front of me and gives me the lamest excuse for a closeup commercial. He had an even bigger grin on his face and he was dead on serious not to let me pass. What the fuck?

I was moments away from yelling but i decided to be polite, gave him a blank stare and tried to avoid by moving to my right (his left). Posterboy blocked my way. Jerk! I moved to my left (his right) to try to be on my way and he just blocked me again and still with that big grin on his face. This time I made my grunt louder so he knows he is annoying and that he is already pissing me off so he backed away, shook his head gave me a blank stare but as soon as my feet started to move he literally blocked me again and smiled. Asshole!

He only let me pass when he noticed that the people around us, especially those dining alfresco were already looking at us with prying eyes as if anticipating the inevitable. But posterboy moved away and I hurried to the nearest Starbucks for coffee (my 8th for the day). In a whisper, he said... "Suplado". (Mental note: I am not suplado, I am an asshole)

Just when I thought that I could have my coffee in peace, posterboy sits in front of me, smies, says hi and introduces himself. Before I could even utter the 'Are you fucking kidding me" phrase, he asks me to dinner. There I lost it, stood up and kicked one of the chairs to his direction (I'm sure it hit his left leg hard) and before the guard came to inquire what that was about, I have already gathered my stuff and left for Italianni's for dinner.

Mental Note: I am now appealing to both genders hahahaha!

More pizza and pasta the following day as I had lunch with my brother before we decided to watch SATC (Sex And The City). I was kinda hesitant about the movie though because I have this vibe that this might be a recap of all the episodes.. I hope not.

Movie started ok..... you have your usual typical plot until it started to become depressing when it got to the scene where Carrie was supposed to be married to Big and that the poor fellow had to ditch the bride. Dear lord, this is a summary of my life!

 Big is ditching Carrie because of some twisted comment made by Miranda.I had to sympathize with Miranda though, she was having a difficult night talking to Steve and dealing with his infidelity, but I don�t think that was the turning point as to why Big got cold feet. Anyway, the point is.. I am watching my life on the big screen (minus that wedding hullabaloo anyway) . I got scared.. I freaked out .. Images of my recent breakup started flooding my mind. Here we fucking go again.


Consider the following:


A) Like Carrie, I have three friends who helped me through the breakup � Jeff, Lola Bombshell and Ate Liezel.

 B) When I came to a point that I finally decided I had to move on, I also sat on one part of the beach reading my ex�s text messages from the breakup (I didn't throw my phone though.. hello.. drama much?) and there I decided that I had to get rid of my ring for good ( I mean like in a place where I wont be able to find it anymore � and yes I still cant find it hahahaha)

 C) Miranda was describing her sex life and... oh never mind.

 D) Big just took off, no explanation whatsoever. At least he had the courtesy of making it up to Carrie.. she's still lucky.

 E) Other stuff, but I don't wanna take the suspense from those who haven't seen the movie yet.

 As the movie progressed, there were a lot of similarities I have taken note of that pretty much described my past relationship. I really felt uncomfortable at first because it was like dealing with it from a 3rd person's perspective for the first time. Until I realized, my story ended like that of Samantha's. It just didn't work. It was time to let go.

If its any consolation, I have proven the following to be true:

 A) In order to move on, you have to forgive yourself first before you can actually forgive your ex and all her/his transgressions. If you have done so.. it wont matter whether there are still things left unsaid, possessions left unreturned (my CDs, my precious CDs hahaha), it just wont matter.

 B) When one is in love, one changes himself/herself to fit into the role that his/her partner wants him/her to be. In my case, I changed for my ex, I changed a lot of myself that I lost who I was, and I gave up a lot of things just to prove that I am willing to fight for the relationship. Sadly, my ex didn't see it that way.. my ex wasn't ready to give up certain things and fight for me, instead giving up was just the only solution available. I can assure you all though, you will never find anyone like me who is willing to give up everything just to save the relationship. Ako nagawa ko kahit mahirap... ewan ko sa inyo....hahahaha

 C) You can be friends with your ex. How willing are you or your ex to invest in that friendship is a different issue. Nonetheless, being polite is customary.

D) Everybody is entitled to a happy ending. It might not be the happy ending we all dream of, but nevertheless it is a happy ending.

 Now that I have another ring on my finger, I am excited at the same time scared (yeah.... I dont know how I have summoned the strength to travel at 11 in the evening just to give my Bubu the ring). Whatever this chapter is, however it progresses, and how it ends. I don't know. All I know is, Everybody deserves to love and be loved.