Chapter One Begins

Yeah... yeah ... yeah... I know what you're going to say. What is this idiot doing blogging again? Well sweetie, you can take blogging away from any writer but you can never take writing away from any writer..... well sort of, you get my drift.

So anyway... tonight, my lil bro and I decided to have dinner. The poor kid has been trying real hard to squeeze into kuya's busy schedule and so finally, we found the time to catch up. The night was just starting to get weirder though....

I spent a few moments trying to pick the perfect ring for me and my Bubu . . . its long overdue anyway considering that its already our first month together. To accomplish this, I had to remove extra clothing - my vest, my jacket and my muffler.. how the hell do I know that there was a freaking sale in Ayala Center and that all sorts of creatures were in a hurry to grab all sorts of items at marked down prices??? Long story short, I looked like a bloody French gigolo wearing stripes and a pair of jeans (good thing Girbaud makes huge bags that I was able to fit all other pieces of clothing there).

So what does the perfect ring look like (No fucking gold please!)? The options were:

A) Plain and smooth ----- naaah, too pedestrian for Bubu's "Make Me A Supermodel" looks.
B) Matte with asterisk like patterns ---- Hoe much? Why don't you just wear a tag with the letters H O E to go with it
C) Smooth with undistinguishable patters ---- My precious... so Lord of The Rings-esque. Hello!
D) Combo of alternate lines and grains ---- perfect......too bad this doesnt come in platinum.But still perfect...

So Ive picked up the rings, I'll just have to give it to Bubu later... now off to meet my bro for dinner.

Like I said earlier..... the night just couldn't get weirder than this. As I was on my way to Greenbelt 1 with my usual bouncy walk..... This 6 feet Calvin Klein posterboy starts heading my way as if there was no other way but to collide with me. He had this grin on his face as if he was mocking me (but he wasn't) and just about a foot away between me and him bumping to each other, posterboy stops in front of me and gives me the lamest excuse for a closeup commercial. He had an even bigger grin on his face and he was dead on serious not to let me pass. What the fuck?

I was moments away from yelling but i decided to be polite, gave him a blank stare and tried to avoid by moving to my right (his left). Posterboy blocked my way. Jerk! I moved to my left (his right) to try to be on my way and he just blocked me again and still with that big grin on his face. This time I made my grunt louder so he knows he is annoying and that he is already pissing me off so he backed away, shook his head gave me a blank stare but as soon as my feet started to move he literally blocked me again and smiled. Asshole!

He only let me pass when he noticed that the people around us, especially those dining alfresco were already looking at us with prying eyes as if anticipating the inevitable. But posterboy moved away and I hurried to the nearest Starbucks for coffee (my 8th for the day). In a whisper, he said... "Suplado". (Mental note: I am not suplado, I am an asshole)

Just when I thought that I could have my coffee in peace, posterboy sits in front of me, smies, says hi and introduces himself. Before I could even utter the 'Are you fucking kidding me" phrase, he asks me to dinner. There I lost it, stood up and kicked one of the chairs to his direction (I'm sure it hit his left leg hard) and before the guard came to inquire what that was about, I have already gathered my stuff and left for Italianni's for dinner.

Mental Note: I am now appealing to both genders hahahaha!

More pizza and pasta the following day as I had lunch with my brother before we decided to watch SATC (Sex And The City). I was kinda hesitant about the movie though because I have this vibe that this might be a recap of all the episodes.. I hope not.

Movie started ok..... you have your usual typical plot until it started to become depressing when it got to the scene where Carrie was supposed to be married to Big and that the poor fellow had to ditch the bride. Dear lord, this is a summary of my life!

 Big is ditching Carrie because of some twisted comment made by Miranda.I had to sympathize with Miranda though, she was having a difficult night talking to Steve and dealing with his infidelity, but I don�t think that was the turning point as to why Big got cold feet. Anyway, the point is.. I am watching my life on the big screen (minus that wedding hullabaloo anyway) . I got scared.. I freaked out .. Images of my recent breakup started flooding my mind. Here we fucking go again.


Consider the following:


A) Like Carrie, I have three friends who helped me through the breakup � Jeff, Lola Bombshell and Ate Liezel.

 B) When I came to a point that I finally decided I had to move on, I also sat on one part of the beach reading my ex�s text messages from the breakup (I didn't throw my phone though.. hello.. drama much?) and there I decided that I had to get rid of my ring for good ( I mean like in a place where I wont be able to find it anymore � and yes I still cant find it hahahaha)

 C) Miranda was describing her sex life and... oh never mind.

 D) Big just took off, no explanation whatsoever. At least he had the courtesy of making it up to Carrie.. she's still lucky.

 E) Other stuff, but I don't wanna take the suspense from those who haven't seen the movie yet.

 As the movie progressed, there were a lot of similarities I have taken note of that pretty much described my past relationship. I really felt uncomfortable at first because it was like dealing with it from a 3rd person's perspective for the first time. Until I realized, my story ended like that of Samantha's. It just didn't work. It was time to let go.

If its any consolation, I have proven the following to be true:

 A) In order to move on, you have to forgive yourself first before you can actually forgive your ex and all her/his transgressions. If you have done so.. it wont matter whether there are still things left unsaid, possessions left unreturned (my CDs, my precious CDs hahaha), it just wont matter.

 B) When one is in love, one changes himself/herself to fit into the role that his/her partner wants him/her to be. In my case, I changed for my ex, I changed a lot of myself that I lost who I was, and I gave up a lot of things just to prove that I am willing to fight for the relationship. Sadly, my ex didn't see it that way.. my ex wasn't ready to give up certain things and fight for me, instead giving up was just the only solution available. I can assure you all though, you will never find anyone like me who is willing to give up everything just to save the relationship. Ako nagawa ko kahit mahirap... ewan ko sa inyo....hahahaha

 C) You can be friends with your ex. How willing are you or your ex to invest in that friendship is a different issue. Nonetheless, being polite is customary.

D) Everybody is entitled to a happy ending. It might not be the happy ending we all dream of, but nevertheless it is a happy ending.

 Now that I have another ring on my finger, I am excited at the same time scared (yeah.... I dont know how I have summoned the strength to travel at 11 in the evening just to give my Bubu the ring). Whatever this chapter is, however it progresses, and how it ends. I don't know. All I know is, Everybody deserves to love and be loved.