Mental Garbage

There's a part of me right now that wants to cry. Probably because I have a lot of things on my mind and I do not know which one to focus on first. Maybe it is because of the stupid diet I am on right, less carbs less sweets equals less joy. (Whoever made that equation anyway) And I can't even get myself to eat after that episode of pizza slice last night where I almost ran into the bathroom to throw up. It's not like it tasted awful, but, considering that I have been avoiding meat and carbs for two days now.... pizza was a no no. I rest my case.

I heard this interesting topic on the radio earlier. "How Do You Know When It's Time To Breakup?" Callers of all sorts had to make brilliant suggestions as to their tell tale signs of breakup. I do not even know why I am writing about this. Again, boredom. (Good god it's 11:24 in the morning, I am at work and I am spaced out). Enough of the breakups.

My mind now wanders to the concept of food..... then I remembered, my tastebuds are telling me they are not in the mood to eat. So I browse browse and browse until I came across an article of a Russian man being arrested for digging corpses, dressing them up and displaying them in his flat. What a sicko! There goes my appetite, thank you very much.

Lately, I have been sexually active to the point that I would jack off thrice a day. Yes, thrice a day. I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that my last intimate adventure was August and.... Oh my god... too much information! Ziiip.

My mind is telling me now to sleep, and again how can I, I am in the middle of work.... I just had to give myself a quick break before thinking about work problems. Good luck with that.

Ho-hum.....

Background Music : U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Domino : Jessie J

I'm feeling sexy and free
Like glitter's raining on me
You like a shot of pure gold
I think I'm 'bout to explode

I can taste the tension like a cloud of smoke in the air
Now I'm breathing like I'm running cause you're taking me there
Don't you know...you spin me out of control

Ooh ooh ooh

[Chorus]
We can do this all night
Turn this club, skin tight
Baby come on
Pull me like a bass drum
Sparkin' up a rhythm
Baby, come on!

Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Rock my world into the sunlight
Make this dream the best I've ever known
Dirty dancing in the moonlight
Take me down like I'm a domino

Every second is a highlight
When we touch don't ever let me go
Dirty dancing in the moonlight
Take me down like I'm a domino

You got me loosing my mind
My heart beats out of time
I'm seeing Hollywood stars
You stroke me like a guitar

I can taste the tension like a cloud of smoke in the air
Now I'm breathing like I'm running cause you're taking me there
Don't you know...you spin me out of control

Ooh ooh ooh

[Chorus]
We can do this all night
Turn this club, skin tight
Baby come on
Pull me like a bass drum
Sparkin' up a rhythm
Baby, come on!

Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Rock my world into the sunlight
Make this dream the best I've ever known
Dirty dancing in the moonlight
Take me down like I'm a domino

Every second is a highlight
When we touch don't ever let me go
Dirty dancing in the moonlight
Take me down like I'm a domino

[Bridge]
Ooh baby baby got me feeling so right
Ooh baby baby dancing in the moonlight
Ooh baby baby got me feeling so right
Ooh baby baby dancing in the moonlight
Ooh baby baby got me feeling so right
Ooh baby baby dancing in the moonlight

[Outro]
Rock my world into the sunlight
Make this dream the best I've ever known
Dirty dancing in the moonlight
Take me down like I'm a domino

Every second is a highlight
When we touch don't ever let me go
Dirty dancing in the moonlight
Take me down like I'm a domino

Alone

Copyright Ritche F. Baria 2011

Quo Vadis

Courtesy of Google Images

This is that time of the year where family members gather to remember loved ones, to share memories and to catch up on each other's lives. Not for me. As much as I would like to jump on the Halloween bandwagon, buy candles and flowers and say repeated prayers, I'd rather spend the long weekend to reminisce the person that I was and to make changes into becoming closer to the person that I want to be. Laying my cards on the table, knowing where I am on the road map of my life helps to know that there is still hope for people like me.

But what and who am I exactly.....? I don't know anymore. Sometimes, I begin to believe the fabricated lies I tell myself -- I am okay, things will get better, there is a happy ending. While it isn't bad to believe in the superficial and the obscure, being a bitch about it doesn't help either. Being realistic does.

The four-day-holiday is ending soon..... Where am I going?