Dear Self,
I am sorry that you are in this moment again because of me. You wonder why you are always the one left picking up the pieces after they move on and leave? Simple, I loved too much, I cared too much, and in the process, I lost me.
I invested too much time and effort building something that I thought would now last a lifetime, only to see it crumble overnight. And in the aftermath, I am left in the middle hoping to put the pieces back together. But they don't fit anymore. Some pieces are lost, some irrecoverable.
I spent too much time thinking about other people's happiness instead of my own. I devoted much time taking care of others, hoping to build a home, that I forgot to take care of myself.
I spent many a few holidays with others, thinking it will fill the void, when in fact, I ought to have spent it closer to home - to family, to my friends, to me.
And no matter how difficult it may have seemed - emotionally, physically, financially, I mustered the courage to make sure everything was taken cared of, everyone was taken cared of, except for me. I should have cared for me instead.
And now I end, with the peace knowing that I did my best, I gave it my all, yet I am afraid that I no longer have any love to give to someone else who comes after. That is a burden which that person will bear. And I hope that despite that, whoever the person maybe, will stay.
So rest now my breaking heart. Heal. It is now time to let go. It is now time to forget.
Me
