I long for the darkness that surrounds our moments of chaos, for in those moments, your light smolders; your warmth is felt. I savor and live each moment of confusion as if it were the last, for when the sun rises, your light cases to shine, and you�re again lost in the confines of my frozen heart. My soul knows you, my mind recalls your presence, my lips speak your name; yet I know not who you really are. Has the sun blinded me and impaired my capacity to recall even your face?
I patiently wait for darkness to fall. For when oblivion obscures reality and extinguishes the sun�s radiance, I can now see your face. I can retrace each curve and each line and try to lock that memory n my heart. I feel your pain, your joy, your anguish --- and my soul tries to rejoice in that brief moment of darkness for when I wake up, I will not see your face again. The sun rises and obliterates you from my mind. Still, I long for darkness to fall.
Will I wake up one day to remember you? Will I see your face albeit the sun may have blinded me? Will I be able to memorize every line of your face, every curve, every emotion, when darkness forever leaves me�?
The sun shall soon thaw my heart. And you will be gone forever. I will never see your face, I will never feel your presence, I will never speak your name.
Darkness will fall soon..
30-October-2005
11:43AM
Starmall Las Piñas
31 October 2005
29 May 2005
Rain
I thought of seeing you today…for the sight of your magnificence draws me into a wonderland of splendor alien to the banality of existence. The heavens long for the sun in an endless outburst of sorrow.
Rain begins to fall…..
I am reminded by your smile, the innocence of your laughter which sometimes reminds me that I am never too old for fun; your eyes, the sorrow they hide, and the child that begs for attention….; your touch, the warmth of skin on skin, the comforting assurance that you will always be there.
Still, rain continues to fall…..
Obscurity clouds my eyes in an endless longing for your face, your touch, your love; and now that my longing is quenched, why am I afraid? I am thrown into an abyss of loneliness, forged by ages of grief, despair and pain
Rain continues to fall…….
Where is that smile? Where are those eyes? Where is that touch? Where’s love?
Let your radiance shine and remove the clouds of disbelief! Let your eyes look upon me with pity, that I may love you like a child! Let your touch heal my cold body and thaw my frozen spirit! Let your love be known, that I may find the answers to my questions! But no, rain falls to blind my vision and obscure reason.
The rain has finally washed all possibilities for us to be together… I will never see those eyes, feel your touch, see your smile, feel your love…..
Still, rain continues to pour……
Rain begins to fall…..
I am reminded by your smile, the innocence of your laughter which sometimes reminds me that I am never too old for fun; your eyes, the sorrow they hide, and the child that begs for attention….; your touch, the warmth of skin on skin, the comforting assurance that you will always be there.
Still, rain continues to fall…..
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| (Photo Credit: spencercris.wordpress.com) |
Obscurity clouds my eyes in an endless longing for your face, your touch, your love; and now that my longing is quenched, why am I afraid? I am thrown into an abyss of loneliness, forged by ages of grief, despair and pain
Rain continues to fall…….
Where is that smile? Where are those eyes? Where is that touch? Where’s love?
Let your radiance shine and remove the clouds of disbelief! Let your eyes look upon me with pity, that I may love you like a child! Let your touch heal my cold body and thaw my frozen spirit! Let your love be known, that I may find the answers to my questions! But no, rain falls to blind my vision and obscure reason.
The rain has finally washed all possibilities for us to be together… I will never see those eyes, feel your touch, see your smile, feel your love…..
Still, rain continues to pour……
07 April 2005
Trains
Falling in love is like riding a train. Doors open, doors welcome people, doors close and the train moves on. After a while, doors again open, people leave and doors close.The sad part is, sometimes people get off earlier and in other stations other than the one's they're supposed to go. Vice versa, the train opens its doors in every station, hence, it welcomes everybody for the ride... It makes it easy and accessible for everybody to enter and leave.....just like that......
However, if lovers were to view their participation in every relationship as mere commuters inside one train, it doesnt make sense... It should not make sense in the first place... But commuting and falling in love are different, for most people anyway. Or are they? (O, confused ka? I dont mean commuting literally). (O, hirit ka pa!)(journal ko to, magdusa ka!)
O crap....my head hurts...maybe I'll finish this when I can.....
However, if lovers were to view their participation in every relationship as mere commuters inside one train, it doesnt make sense... It should not make sense in the first place... But commuting and falling in love are different, for most people anyway. Or are they? (O, confused ka? I dont mean commuting literally). (O, hirit ka pa!)(journal ko to, magdusa ka!)
O crap....my head hurts...maybe I'll finish this when I can.....
19 December 2004
A Tale of Two Brats
It was very difficult for me to say goodbye. Afterall, you have been my boss for the past 3 years and I know we have this "something" we both couldn't figure out and we both couldn't put our fingers on. Hmmm...good professional working relationship??? Hmmm...naaaah....not really. Everything isn't just work between us.I'd do your windows if you'd ask me nicely. :-) (kidding). Whatever it is...it's something we do not and never will talk about. I guess we both understand that its an unwritten rule in both our "personal' manuals.
"Confidential Files....your's or mine? Definitely not the new assistant's!" "SEC Registration, yours, Files of your vehicles, mine. LTO Registration, mine."
Funny. It's funny because in the course of 3 years, I have never seen you show me that you like me, except in the form of monetary or material somethings that you throw in every once in a while when you feel like remembering me. In the same manner,never have I shown you that I really like you a lot. (Heaven forbid I might even fall... noooooo... but that's impossible). It was more of me giving you gifts, calling or texting you at 12am and greeting you happy birthday (and I always was the 1st), stuff beyond work.
"Equipments Monitoring...yours, Sales, mine...Wait a freaking minute!!! Why am I still responsible for these when you already granted my transfer? So what's the new assistant doing anyways? Merely pushing paper and answering phonecalls? Hello! Don't tell me you'll take charge of operation and logistics as well??? Trust me, not your cup of tea....., which is why you hired me."
I talked to your dad earlier and even before I could make a plea to stay with you, he already told me about management's decision. Oh by the way, he said you can still come to me if you need anything...(which I doubt that you will do knowing how hard headed you are, I'm 26 you're 25, go figure!). But I couldn't help it...and me telling him that I liked you a lot and I dont wanna leave you in incapable hands just broke loose... Dunno what went thru his mind within 15 seconds of inactivity but hey...I said my piece.
"So I guess, that's everything...All files that you need are intact, Softcopies are encrypted and are backed up in my HD. Tell me if you need anything. I'm moving my stuff today up one floor....your uncle's orders." "Naaaah, you stay for a while, you don't have anything to do pa naman right? Besides, I have projects for you to finish one last time. Stay put".
All this time, I thought that your letting me go didnt mean anything...till I learned that you have been repeatedly pleading for me to stay with you for over two weeks now...today you and the other VPs called for a meeting with the Board and did the same... I was wrong.
"No, I can't. I have to start Monday and your uncle just gave me one day to comepletely turnover stuff". Sorry."
Hours passed and all I could see was you trying to take in the whole thing trying to be ok...I know because I feel what you're feeling. Damn! You don't just become OK after saying goodbye to someone whose face you see more than 9 hours of your life 6 days a week for 3 years...Still, between the two of us, you're the stronger brat, and you just left by tapping my shoulder looking away as I glanced and walked out as fast as you can before I could even say goodbye. The same old you, I see....:-)
Earlier tonight you sat beside me at the annual Christmas Dinner still, silent. You didnt have to say a word you know that... Being pathetic is not listed in our "personal" manuals, nor is it in the boss' handbook. All I know, we have said a lot to each other by just merely looking at each other's eyes for the longest time, like we always do when we couldnt find the right words to say. I guess, we will always be this way, and I'm cool with it.
See you around B.... Let's discuss credit policies soon.
:-)
"Confidential Files....your's or mine? Definitely not the new assistant's!" "SEC Registration, yours, Files of your vehicles, mine. LTO Registration, mine."
Funny. It's funny because in the course of 3 years, I have never seen you show me that you like me, except in the form of monetary or material somethings that you throw in every once in a while when you feel like remembering me. In the same manner,never have I shown you that I really like you a lot. (Heaven forbid I might even fall... noooooo... but that's impossible). It was more of me giving you gifts, calling or texting you at 12am and greeting you happy birthday (and I always was the 1st), stuff beyond work.
"Equipments Monitoring...yours, Sales, mine...Wait a freaking minute!!! Why am I still responsible for these when you already granted my transfer? So what's the new assistant doing anyways? Merely pushing paper and answering phonecalls? Hello! Don't tell me you'll take charge of operation and logistics as well??? Trust me, not your cup of tea....., which is why you hired me."
I talked to your dad earlier and even before I could make a plea to stay with you, he already told me about management's decision. Oh by the way, he said you can still come to me if you need anything...(which I doubt that you will do knowing how hard headed you are, I'm 26 you're 25, go figure!). But I couldn't help it...and me telling him that I liked you a lot and I dont wanna leave you in incapable hands just broke loose... Dunno what went thru his mind within 15 seconds of inactivity but hey...I said my piece.
"So I guess, that's everything...All files that you need are intact, Softcopies are encrypted and are backed up in my HD. Tell me if you need anything. I'm moving my stuff today up one floor....your uncle's orders." "Naaaah, you stay for a while, you don't have anything to do pa naman right? Besides, I have projects for you to finish one last time. Stay put".
All this time, I thought that your letting me go didnt mean anything...till I learned that you have been repeatedly pleading for me to stay with you for over two weeks now...today you and the other VPs called for a meeting with the Board and did the same... I was wrong.
"No, I can't. I have to start Monday and your uncle just gave me one day to comepletely turnover stuff". Sorry."
Hours passed and all I could see was you trying to take in the whole thing trying to be ok...I know because I feel what you're feeling. Damn! You don't just become OK after saying goodbye to someone whose face you see more than 9 hours of your life 6 days a week for 3 years...Still, between the two of us, you're the stronger brat, and you just left by tapping my shoulder looking away as I glanced and walked out as fast as you can before I could even say goodbye. The same old you, I see....:-)
Earlier tonight you sat beside me at the annual Christmas Dinner still, silent. You didnt have to say a word you know that... Being pathetic is not listed in our "personal" manuals, nor is it in the boss' handbook. All I know, we have said a lot to each other by just merely looking at each other's eyes for the longest time, like we always do when we couldnt find the right words to say. I guess, we will always be this way, and I'm cool with it.
See you around B.... Let's discuss credit policies soon.
:-)
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