24 May 2012

Coffee

I'm pouring my emotions over a cup of coffee, stilll reconciling how today was. Yes, coffee, the same coffee that was the cause of all of this. But that's just icing on the cake. As I was going through the conversations, I realized, I was mislead into believing that there was something special about these conversations, endless threads of conversations that seem to lose meaning.

Maybe because the words I+LOVE+YOU don't mean the same as they used to mean 5 or 10 years ago. Maybe the meaning got lost in translation. Maybe it wasn't there at all.

I was made to believe that when you begin to commit yourself to someone, you give full power to that person to hurt you, but you trust them enough that they won't. But what if they do? What if they do and they don't apologize for it? What if they do, they don't apologize for it and they just shrug it off like some joke and you are left wondering, what the hell happened?

When you begin to commit yourself to someone, transparency is there up to a point that you need not be told to make your whereabouts known, or who you are with. Respect is the driving force that makes you conscious enough to inform your significant other that you are safe, and you are in the company of people who keep you safe.

When one starts to withhold information, it is tantamount to saying that something is wrong, that the same person is hiding something, or has a different agenda that he wishes to be kept to himself. One forgets that he has a responsibility to keep his significant other informed.

I don't want to rant about how I was mislead to believe that I was special, or why a free cup of coffee ruined something beautiful, when the least that could have been done was to be honest, ask permission, and be respectful. But I guess, free coffee isn't easy to come by and the opportunity to date and fool around is just too hard to resist, which is why people lie about it, or if in fact they decide to be truthful about it...., they use selective honesty.

I refuse to be used again....

An apology could have been appreciated, but hell no. What good is an apology when someone is being self righteous and talks about you with friends on Facebook walls, posts screenshots on Twitter and calls you PUTANGINA. Yes, I read that.

Well, Putangina ka rin.


Sent from my BlackBerry®

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