Shush... It's Not the End of the World

How many times have you opened up yourself to the possibility of a relationship by putting yourself out there and hoping that you meet Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now? Countless I presume, in more unconventional and creative ways, if I may add. You put in so much effort by putting your best foot forward with the hope that you will hit it off and live your happily ever after.

But that is not always the case.

Sometimes, your effort pays off and you begin your journey towards rose colored glasses, bed of roses and what have you. Well, good for you. But oftentimes, it does not end there, and you are left in that crossroad of your life wondering what the hell happened. (You actually have a clue but you are too proud to admit to yourself that it didn’t work and you’re still hoping for lightning to strike the same place twice so that you can reignite that fire and live your days in Lala Land.)

When things don’t work out, you go on the offense and charge without thinking. You don’t care whatever it takes to get that person to like you again, and you allow yourself to bask in a rain of a shitload of crazy just to get him back. Oftentimes, you fail to ask yourself the basic question of “WHY DIDN’T IT WORK?”

Well I’ll tell you why :

   1. He is married.

You keep on hoping that by some strange divine intervention, the wife dies and he comes running back to you. Boom, happy ending. But she’s not dying anytime soon, is she?

2. He is in a relationship.

Motherfu....! You found out that despite all the time he spends with you, he still has somebody else to come home to, and you constantly tell him that you won’t be demanding for any more of his time as long as he doesn’t leave you. Hello, wake up! The mere fact that he still doesn’t break it off means that he has no intention of being exclusively with you. You are just a side dish. A garnish. A hobby. Shall I go on?

  3. He has commitment issues.

Walang kayo! He doesn’t want to put down his gloves yet because he still has game and he wants to play. And right now, he’s playing horse chasing a carrot. You are the horse.

  4. He’s just not into you.

Let’s play charades. Four words, Filipino. “HINDI KA NYA GUSTO”. Oo bes, sorry pero hindi talaga. He might be using you for sex, or your money but other than that, nada. Zero, zilch, sayonara.

And there you are in your delusional world still hoping that he is coming back. I can tell that you are still convincing yourself to chase after him and make it work. Please don’t. Stop crying, stand up, dust yourself off and put yourself out there again. I know you are tired, I know you might be feeling a little discouraged but, no pain no gain right?

Please know that you deserve to be loved. It might not be the person you want (common, we can’t always get what we want, stop rolling in the dirt like a spoiled brat), but if you open yourself to a world of possibilities, you might surprise yourself one day when you get to hum tunes, recite verses, make mix tapes (does anybody still do that?), smile and fall in love all over again. 

It’s not the end of the world babe. It’s just merely the end of a lousy chapter.

Break It To Me Gently..... (Naaah!)

Sometimes relationships fail. And when that stench of failure hits the fan it stinks. So what do you do? You lie there motionless like a rug and just let people walk over you. You spend days and nights crying over what could have been. You spend all effort and energy trying to paddle and save a sinking Titanic. Chances are, you won't. And you cry some more, until such time you start blaming yourself for the breakup. Oo, ang tanga tanga mo! There I said it for you.

But let me tell you this, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. (Well unless you're the prick who went out of his way to screw everything up, then by all means you can go to hell. Don't bother sending us a postcard). You could have just been a victim of someone who has been masterfully orchestrating this breakup because they are dipshits who found somebody new.

Have you ever heard of these lines?

1. It is not you, it's me. 
(Read: I did something wrong but I'm not gonna tell you)

2. I have to work on myself. 
(Read: I found someone new, and I'd like to make it work)

3. You deserve better. 
(Read: I deserve better)

4. I feel guilty, I think you love me more than I love you. 
(Read: I don't love you anymore)

5. We can still be friends 
(Read: If it doesn't work out, I can still come back to you)

6. We should start seeing other people.
(Read: I started seeing other people)

7. I think we are sexually incompatible
(Read: I slept with someone else)

8. I need to focus on my career/family 
(Read: I need to focus on my new relationship)

9. I think we're moving too fast 
(Read: This is not working anymore)

10. I'm not good enough for you 
(Read: This is not good enough for me)

11. We're not just a perfect fit. 
(Read: I'm tired of making it work)

12. I need space. 
(Read: I want to see other people)

13. It's for the best. 
(Read: I want what's best for me)

Chances are, if you've been told any of these lines, accepted it hook, line and sinker without an iota of a doubt and swallowed it like a motherfucking pill, you have been played. And very well, if I may add more salt to your wound. You see, some people have been playing the game for so long they become really skilled at it, and they could just break hearts without any remorse. And there you are, crying your poor poor heart out.

So now that I've broken it down into bits that you can swallow and stomach, I want you to stop crying this instant. Tumigil ka, sasampalin na kita. I want you to get up, take a shower, a long one if you must. I want you to start fixing yourself - dress up, girls you put on your makeup (make sure it's waterproof mascara). You don't have to go anywhere, I just want you to see your beautiful self again before all of this brouhaha. I want you to know that you are good enough to be loved and that you will find love again.

You're not a rock babe. Get up and move. Live your life again.

What is Love?

Love is one of those mysteries that exist in the human world that nobody can seem to fathom.  It’s like this Algebra equation that nobody wants to mess with at first glance, but one ends up trying to solve it anyway. Anyone, in his own little way, can provide a unique solution that somehow solves that equation. And when one does, it is pure satisfaction.

The solution to any equation, can result to a real or an imaginary number, just like being in love where relationships can be either of these. Worse, when you get a very complex answer to what appears to be a harmless equation, it now complicates things. Hence, the invention of “it’s complicated” as opposed to merely being single or in a relationship.  It has become a convenient label for those who do not want to make a choice.

Photo Credits : LELAND

Love is also likened to the movies. Most people will agree that life imitates art, but the contrasting idea still remains that art, may also imitate life.  If I were to liken love to any movie, an endless list of chick flicks, romance, and unrequited love comes to mind, tragedy even.  But, I would love to fall in love like it was the 80’s.

If love is like an 80’s movie, the cast will simply break into a song and dance number to prove a point, falling in love will be easier, and relationships will be happier. In this instance, people would just get along and do a fun performance no matter how self depreciating it may be.  Loving would have been less stressful, because the answer to every problem will always be in a song, and that song would suffice for an explanation.

But love isn’t as simple as that. There is no Judd Nelson who has his fist up in the air knowing that he will stand by you.  There is no John Cusack in a lawnmower with a boom box playing a song to make you feel alright. There is no Patrick Swayzee who is going to catch you in mid-air as you take off to make that death defying leap. It will just be you and the reality that at some point it is going to suck.

And love can also suck.  It is like that sour pill that your mom makes you take, a panacea for something that hurts.  You know that it will taste awful in your mouth, but you have to take it anyway, knowing that after that bitter taste, you will feel better eventually. And you will. You can only hope to take the right dose of it, knowing that anything in excess is also bad for you.

So what is love?

Love is the sunrise the you look forward to. It can also be the sunset that vanishes after it illuminates the skies, bringing darkness. It can be the moon and the stars that guide you thru the night, or even the wind that sings lullabies in your sleep. It is the air you breathe, the rain that quenches the earth, and the rainbow that gives you hope.

Love is you, and everything else around you.

So never be afraid to love. It may be not be perfect, it may hurt sometimes, but it is going to one heck of an adventure you should never miss. So buckle up, fall in love and enjoy the ride.