A Tale of Two Brats

It was very difficult for me to say goodbye. Afterall, you have been my boss for the past 3 years and I know we have this "something" we both couldn't figure out and we both couldn't put our fingers on. Hmmm...good professional working relationship??? Hmmm...naaaah....not really. Everything isn't just work between us.I'd do your windows if you'd ask me nicely. :-) (kidding). Whatever it is...it's something we do not and never will talk about. I guess we both understand that its an unwritten rule in both our "personal' manuals.

"Confidential Files....your's or mine? Definitely not the new assistant's!" "SEC Registration, yours, Files of your vehicles, mine. LTO Registration, mine."

Funny. It's funny because in the course of 3 years, I have never seen you show me that you like me, except in the form of monetary or material somethings that you throw in every once in a while when you feel like remembering me. In the same manner,never have I shown you that I really like you a lot. (Heaven forbid I might even fall... noooooo... but that's impossible). It was more of me giving you gifts, calling or texting you at 12am and greeting you happy birthday (and I always was the 1st), stuff beyond work.

"Equipments Monitoring...yours, Sales, mine...Wait a freaking minute!!! Why am I still responsible for these when you already granted my transfer? So what's the new assistant doing anyways? Merely pushing paper and answering phonecalls? Hello! Don't tell me you'll take charge of operation and logistics as well??? Trust me, not your cup of tea....., which is why you hired me."

I talked to your dad earlier and even before I could make a plea to stay with you, he already told me about management's decision. Oh by the way, he said you can still come to me if you need anything...(which I doubt that you will do knowing how hard headed you are, I'm 26 you're 25, go figure!). But I couldn't help it...and me telling him that I liked you a lot and I dont wanna leave you in incapable hands just broke loose... Dunno what went thru his mind within 15 seconds of inactivity but hey...I said my piece.

"So I guess, that's everything...All files that you need are intact, Softcopies are encrypted and are backed up in my HD. Tell me if you need anything. I'm moving my stuff today up one floor....your uncle's orders." "Naaaah, you stay for a while, you don't have anything to do pa naman right? Besides, I have projects for you to finish one last time. Stay put".

All this time, I thought that your letting me go didnt mean anything...till I learned that you have been repeatedly pleading for me to stay with you for over two weeks now...today you and the other VPs called for a meeting with the Board and did the same... I was wrong.

"No, I can't. I have to start Monday and your uncle just gave me one day to comepletely turnover stuff". Sorry."

Hours passed and all I could see was you trying to take in the whole thing trying to be ok...I know because I feel what you're feeling. Damn! You don't just become OK after saying goodbye to someone whose face you see more than 9 hours of your life 6 days a week for 3 years...Still, between the two of us, you're the stronger brat, and you just left by tapping my shoulder looking away as I glanced and walked out as fast as you can before I could even say goodbye. The same old you, I see....:-)

Earlier tonight you sat beside me at the annual Christmas Dinner still, silent. You didnt have to say a word you know that... Being pathetic is not listed in our "personal" manuals, nor is it in the boss' handbook. All I know, we have said a lot to each other by just merely looking at each other's eyes for the longest time, like we always do when we couldnt find the right words to say. I guess, we will always be this way, and I'm cool with it.

See you around B.... Let's discuss credit policies soon.

:-)

Falling In and Out of Love and Faking It

As I sit here with you today, I couldnt help but question my motives. Am I here because I love you, or am I here because I have to be, considering the time we have been apart.

Such thought provoked several other concerns: 1) Are we okay? 2) How long are we going to stay like this? 3) How long can you sustain your love for me when I cant seem to reciprocate the feeling anymore? 4) Do I even love you still?

Weird.... I am in love with you, yet, at this very momemt, I'd rather be home in my own bed, be with my dog, and be enjoying sleep ALONE. I am in love with you, but somehow, I am trying real hard to sustain the feeling just to make today special. I am in love with you, yet somehow, I feel like I'm faking it... and its wrong.....

So now, haviong felt contradicting emotions at the same time....can someone tell me please what's the difference between being in love and faking it? Arrrgh!

I cant be falling out of love...that I am certain, but if I am exhibiting signs of falling out of love...despiute my being concious of being in love....then what do I make out of it????

I'm confused....

If Looks Could Kill (I'd Kill the Person First)

...Now that you've had a closer look of my face and my features, tell me, how do you feel about me? Say whaaat? Stop! Rewind, play.....Hi...Now that you've had a closer look of my face and my features, tell me, how do you feel about me? OMG I heard it right...

At that particular moment, I'd like to bite your head off. Do I have a sign, a mark on my forehead which made you conclude that I was after your looks? Common, I've dated several better looking people than you..don't be so full of yourself.

Have you ever failed to consider the fact that I may have liked you for any other reason other than your looks? Say, what ever happened to the fact that you make me smile, or that you never fail to amaze me, or that you do stupid things and exit gracefully? Looks?

Now I wonder, what made you like me in the first place. Looks? Have I no other value except for looks? Am I not good enough for any other reason except for looks? Can you not like me for being smart or being nice or being funny? But looks?

I must have grown too old too fast to have skipped this part...

Pathetic.

Me, Myself, and I

How often do you get swept off your feet by the wrong person at the wrong time? Once, twice, four times? You idiot!

Ok reality check…. Do you know the person that well? Do you even know if she’s a real person or some pirate faced roach? Do you even know the real name? Age? Whereabouts of parents? Yada yada yada? (What is this an interrogation?)

You don’t….and you call that love? Love on the basis of what? Hey loser, I’m still talking to you! For crying out loud, bang your head until you come to your senses! Would you like me to slam your head real hard to activate your brain? Maybe a little shingles wont hurt, huh?

Ooooopppssss….you’re ignoring me again……Hey, you…..listen to me!

Ho-hum….Huh…? What…? Eh…..? Somebody talking…? Oh, well, gotta get ready….