21 July 2004

Dementia

It has been over two months that I spent days and nights loving you….yet, why can’t I remember your face? Two months or so that I have kept you in my heart, then why can’t I feel your warmth? I must be dead…..for my senses fail me as well. Even my mind slyly denies me of memories of you.

I do recall a faint resemblance of a figure…Was it in my dream? A mirage perhaps, or a ghost of my past haunting me. But the faintness of the entity disillusions my thoughts from believing that such being even existed… Or was it you? I don’t remember.

I’ve forgotten how happiness feels like; neither do I recall the pain sadness brings…Have I forgotten to feel? Maybe… Perhaps its a reply to the harshness the world has shown me….But who are you anyway? I
can’t seem to recall.

Why am I even writing this? Have I lost purpose that I know not what sanity is? Still, I don’t know who you are!

 Soon, I shall forget the thought of inquiring about your existence, for the same thought persuades me to believe that I do know you. Try as I may, I don’t remember our paths crossing…So, tell me…who are you?

20 July 2004

You Really Couldn't Wait

I was joking this afternoon as to how my officemates would choose the lottery numbers so that in case all three of us or if any of us would win, we could help you with your chemo. But you just couldn't wait.....

Three days ago, I called almost the entire batch to finalize the fund drive I was organizing for you, so at least, it would help you with your medication, but you simply couldn't wait......

I still have the last SMS you sent me, the one where you were asking for my help to get you thru with your pain. I really don't have the resources, you know that. I'm just some underpaid and overworked junkie who has crap for a savings account..., but I managed to apply for a loan to help you. Still, you couldn't wait....

You died today, and no one told me. At least no one had the courage to tell me. It was my mom who broke everybody's silence about your demise... You just couldn't wait.... You always were in a hurry....

Wherever you are, I hope you are at peace and are happy. I hope you'll get all the comfort that we couldn't give you, for you were there for me and my classmates when we needed you. We will always remember you - a mother, a professor, a friend.....

03 July 2004

Music of the Night

The wailing storm,
the pouring rain
The sighing wind,
knocking on panes

The snoring pup,
the glugging fish
The humming moon,
tonight I miss

My creaking bones,
my aching flesh
My throbbing heart,
my drumming chest.

My keyboard clicks and sings
to my broken chair's hymn,
I guess it'll have to do alright,
my song, the music of the night.


Creative Commons License
Music of the Night by Ritche F. Baria is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at 2inchestoperfection.blogspot.com.