Two Inches To Perfection

Copyright Ritche F. Baria May 11, 2008

Peter Pan is an asshole dressed in Red body hugging Missoni, an ass friendly pair of board shorts and walking barefoot on the shores of Galera. Today, he turns 30.

I never planned of celebrating my birthday here, I had my my mind set on celebrating elsewhere but ever since I became single, I have always welcomed surprises. As I look back, I realized I ended up doing things I never thought I never liked before:
A) Sailing
B) Jogging with the common tao at CCP on weekends
C) Sitting comfortably resting my head on a trusty lamp post at harbor square on Sunday mornings with people just passing me by
D) Wearing eyeglasses again (I love my glasses, thank you Executive Optical)
E) Eating and eating and eating ( I’m still a size 30 huh!)
F) Marathons (grin… I had 3 good ones yesterday, hell the best actually… grin)
G) Exploring more positions…. (hahaha more grin)
H) Being humble (in a maldito kind of way)
I) Blogging
J) and more . . . .

I have also gained wisdom on love and relationships I’d like to share with you:

A) Never ever abandon your family for love (its suicide!)
B) Never fall in love with people who cant even spend time with their families. How can you expect them to love you?
C) Never ever fall in love with anyone whom you have sex with but never dated
D) In case your partner fails to address your sexual needs, chances are your partner is addressing someone else’s needs, bail out ASAP!
E) I love you can be equated to “I feel like shitting, where’s the CR?”
F) Never fall in love with a drama queen
G) Do your homework… consult your partner’s exs
H) The phrase “Its not you, but the problem is with me” means I found someone else.
I) When you give up your inheritance for someone, make sure you have a fucking solid trust fund
J) When you fall in love with someone more vain than you, expect a headache
K) When your partner makes sure that you get home safe and sound, its usually a cue for them to start prowling (and they usually do).
L) Never have sex with your ex’s friend
M) Never fall in love with anyone who leave their BFs for you (what makes you think they will not leave you aber?)
N) Never have sex with your ex
O) Never date a showbiz personality (double warning if you’re vain)
P) and more. . . . .

When in Galera, I usually go for the sunset but unfortunately, there was none today so we decided to just head to our room and get dressed for dinner. Had dinner at Fernando’s (disappointing) but unfortunately it rained so we had to stay indoors. Had a good laugh and enjoyed swimming earlier today anyway. More strolls on the beach late night and when 12am came, my phone became a hotline again with birthday greetings.

Who would have thought I’d still have cake and a candle to blow? Bubu did. But then again Bubu is full of surprises. A dougnut with icing and a candle voila, birthday cake!

I am now officially 30. Let me take this opportunity to thank the following:



MY FAMILY
I know I have given up on you and despite knowing how fucked up I am you still manage to care. I love you.

BUBU
Thank you for making me smile, for making me believe in love, for bringing back my mojo (grin), for being so sensitive and kind, and for always being there beside me even if were not doing anything.

TSONG
Thank you for taking care of me and for always making sure that I have a healthy meal when I get home from work.

MIKE
Your wisdom amazes me. I hope to become like you one day. I hope to go sailing with you again soon. Thank you for never giving up on me.

ATE LIEZEL

Your kindness overwhelms me. You have never left my side during the times that I was so devastated and you continue to teach me to become a better person. I hope God repays you for the kindness you have shown to me.

LOLA BOMBSHELL
Thank you for never getting tired of listening to my rants. Always remember, were hot and they’re not! Mamatay na silang lahat!

RAMIL
Hey dad! See first name basis na tayo! Thanks for finding time to be a good father despite the odds… and despite the fact that youre always halfway all over the world. See yah when you get back from India.

JOEL
Nasaan na ang Green curry ko? I’ll see you soon.

JEFFIE CUE
Kapatid! I know youre always on my side kaya nga love ka ni kuya.

CARLO P.

Utoy thanks to you and Grace. More blessings!

CARLO S.
Hey kiddo. I wish I could always be that perfect role model you look up to, but I’m not…but thanks…..

LOUIE

My sweet BFF! My lips are sealed……………..

GIBO
Kahit busy ka sa lovelife mo, friends pa rin tayo. Thanks for always being there.

RON
Mabait ako ngayon …. kaya pagbibigyan kita kahit nakalimutan mo birthday ko! I miss driving around with you. See yah soon.

RUEL
Busy busyhan ka dyan! Usap tayo minsan. We still have to bring Pepe ad Pretzel for a stroll remember?

BONG

Kapatid…. Thanks for giving me reason to use my Sun phone hahahaha. Seriously, the good advices helped a lot. Thanks

DWIGHT
My dear Armand….. you have never failed to help me make sense of how fucked up my life is, and your Lestat thanks you.

MARK AND JAY
Mga kapatid…. thanks for lending me your ears. I know nakakairita na ako minsan but you always listen.

ALLAN B.
Hi Bunso… Dalawin mo si kuya if you have time ha?

ALLAN A., AGNES, TOTS, TINA, GERALD, JEFF, RUSSEL, JO, EHM, AL
Hoy nasaan na kayo? Videoke ulit kila Agnes?

ERWIN C.
Hey Cifra. I bet youre back in NZ now or halfway to the US. I can never fill in your shoes for being such a bitch but I thank you for the good times even for the bad ones. Stay happy.

TED Z.

Mabuhay ang mga single for they are the hottest creatures on earth!

CARLO LUIS G.
Hi Boss. Thanks for your friendship. I wouldn’t have survived a lot of crap if not for you. Thank you for teaching me to have faith in GOD again (see, I never missed church since that day we heard mass in Baguio). See you around.